God Does Give Wisdom

God answered! He granted me wisdom even as I was asking for it. You see Susan read my blog, (she is probably the only one who does :-) and that helped improve our communication. She bloged on it too, and I think we were better for it. Yes, there were times when it was tough, but I can only think of one time that was bad, and it didn't last too long. Overall this seemed like the least stressful visit I can remember.

Why is company so stressful?

In our house, having company is stressful. Especially when they are staying for a few days. The most stress is when my parents visit.

With four growing boys in the house, you can imagine that the house needs some cleanup before guests arrive. If we clean too early, it will just get messed up again before the company arrives. We always manage to get it all (or at least the most important stuff) done, but even when it is done, there is still stress.

I know where some of it comes from. Having guests in the house puts a damper on communication. We just don't address some issues that we would if we were alone. We also stay up later than we should, then when we go to bed, we need some time to catch up. So, we run on too little sleep.

Then there is the crowded car; if we all go out together, every seat is filled. Our car is big enough, it's just that the kids are not used to being forced to be so close to each other. The pushing and shoving make it unpleasant (not that they are ever pleasant in the car).

I'm sure that I contribute to the stress. I know that I tend to feel like every "issue" that comes up is an "attack" on my parents. I know that's not the case, but it can be hard to override the feeling. For example when Susan suggests taking two cars to reduce the crowding, I "feel" like she doesn't want to spend time with my parents. However, taking two cars makes sense, even if it doesn't "feel" right.

I know it is more stressful on Susan than me regardless of which set of parents visit. It's even harder for her when it's my parents. The whole house takes it's stress queues from her. When she is stressed out, I get stressed out. Then we are both tougher on the kids, which stresses them out. Stressed out kids makes for stressed out parents and ... so it goes. I wish I could find a way to make it less stressful for her, that thought too adds stress.

There has to be a way to enjoy company. I know that the time that we have on this earth with our parents is limited. Maybe more so for my parents since they are older, and we see them less frequently. I think that all they want to do is spend time with us and the kids. They probably don't care about the little things that bother us.

I know that the only person in this world that I can change, or control is me. So, how can I change me to make this whole thing less stressful? I will definitely be asking for wisdom from God. In James, it says that God will give wisdom to anyone who asks (James 1:5). Well God, I'm asking.

The Gateway

This is the Advisor's minute that I gave to the OA Chapter on Tuesday night. I stole it from another scoutmaster, but it fit the bill. Short, but used the issues causing an advisor change as a "teaching moment"

How many of you have seen the elaborate gateways that Jamboree troops build at their camp sites? One of the Jamboree troops had several people spend more than 2 and a half days building their gateway.

How long do you think it took them to tear it down? It took less than 2 and a half days. In fact, it took less than 2 and a half hours. I am told that the whole thing was torn down and packed up in a little more than an hour.

That gateway is like your character. It takes a long time to build a good character, but you can destroy your character with just one poor choice.

So guard your hard earned character. Thank you scouts.

A New Job

Well I now have a "new job". Not the one that pays the bills. That job is the same. My new job is a new scouting job.

Due to some recent events in our local Boy Scout district, they needed a new Order of the Arrow advisor. When the district vice chairman called to tell me of the situation, he asked if I could take over. I quickly said "yes". Now that is rare for me. Remember from other posts that I used to be in the Navy. You may not know that Navy stands for "Never Again Volunteer Yourself". In the past, when "new jobs" came up I carefully considered them, and consulted with trusted advisors (of whom my wife is chief) before I gave an answer. I'm also not afraid to say "no".

I have asked myself, why was I able to answer yes so quickly? I'm not completely sure. Maybe it is because I know that the boys need stability in this potentially troubling time. Maybe it is because I know that if I were involved with the OA as a young man, I would have loved it. I'm sure that part of the reason is that I want to ensure that the program continues for my sons. But maybe the biggest reason is that I feel God is calling me to this role. He has prepared me for this in many ways that I did not see while it was happening. He put me in a position to be there for the boys when this situation arose. He put me in touch with others in the Boy Scout organization that can make my new job easier. He must have prepared Susan too, because she was instantly supportive of the new job.

So as when I start any "new job", I have both excitement and fear. Excitement about the possibilities, fear that the new job will consume me. I will need to balance that fear and excitement, and depend on God to help me do all of my "jobs" well.

Nuclear Fallout

Nuclear fallout is a bad thing. We are seeing some of the issues in the news stroy of Alexander Litvinenko the ex-KGB spy. The topic of this post is a different kind of "nuclear fallout". It is the fallout due to moral failure.

Having worked in the nuclear power field while in the Navy, I know a little bit about nuclear fallout. Nuclear Fallout is contamination from a nuclear incident that can have wide sweeping effects. The contaminated particles can land anywhere, and if not "cleaned up" can pose a significant health risk. To "clean up" nuclear contamination is to collect enough of the particles so that the radiation levels are below the "accepted" limits. It is extremely difficult to remove all of the particles, and in reality it is not necessary to do so.

The fallout due to moral failure is very similar. You don't know for sure where it will land. It can spread much wider than expected, and it really can't be completely cleaned up. Lives are affected, and the damage may heal, but will probably never go completely away.

This past weekend was a tough one for me. I had to deal with the fallout of moral failures of two men for whom I have a lot of respect. It is hard to say have, but in one case I do still have respect for him, the other, it's a little harder.

You see the one probably committed the "worst offence", but he admitted his failure, and is dealing with his consequences. Even though his failure will probably ruin his and his families lives, he has accepted it. I respect him for that.

The other appears to not have done that. He continues in his failure. His failure is "socially acceptable", while the others is not. The fallout from both of these failures is and will be far reaching. We will not be able to clean them up completely, but with time the cleanup will hopefully be good enough.